Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.
-Walt Disney
Friday, I had an amazing day of discovering what it is to simply be human. With our gadgets and tings, we find ourselves interacting with a screen more so than a face of flesh and blood. The day gave way to more C words that, though, may not make dreams come true will give us small miracles to remind us of our humanity.
I met with a dear friend of mine at a local coffee shop for some talk time. It was really special time. I always look forward to meeting with friends and spending time sharing, catching up on life’s news, laughing and exchanging ideas. In fact, this “connection” was brought up in our conversation. As women or men, as friends or family, as elders or juniors, we need that connection for our very existence. Let me just share a few of my face-to-face interactions that made my life so complete on this day.
Connection - As I was walking across Pennsylvania Avenue to the coffee shop, a young Black woman stopped and with giddiness asked me how far along I was. Now, I’m slightly embarrassed to say I didn’t know what to make of this woman. I smiled and told her eight months and then asked if she was pregnant, too. She didn’t look like she was but looked like she could be. She answered no with a ting of humiliation but I immediately took her into my arms and apologized for making her feel self conscience. I explained that no one, especially another young Black woman, takes too much interest in speaking to me about my pregnant belly. At least not with such delight as though she were sharing in the expecting experience as well. But I was so happy that she did reach out to me the way she did. It made me feel acknowledged and validated for some reason.
We stood and talked for a short while as she gushed “You’re so blessed!” Wow, a perfect stranger shares my excitement and took the time to express it in the most lovingly manner. Most folks walk by and ask in passing, “Twins!?” What a blessing this woman was to me.
Collaboration – My friend and I met at the cashier’s desk and ordered our drinks. She joyfully embraced my belly and spoke to the baby. Then we sat and began our chat. "Bea" is older than me but we have so many similar interests and stories. I love meeting with her because she gives me more insight into her world of healing, art and spirit. She said to me “work out of your passion and compassion… to create something real and authentic.” I believe she practices just that.
We shared with each other inspirational and educational websites and people we thought the other would be interested in. She encouraged me to continue working on my art and in my community as that is something I love to do. And as we wrapped things up, "Bea" let me know that she would like to continue these talks because there was something growing from our relationship. There really is something in the works and I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended up working side by side one day on some extremely powerful projects. At least, I hope so.
Contact – As I was walking home from my visit, I decided to stop by my neighbor’s house. It was more so a potty stop because baby-luv was sitting on the bag of iced tea from the shop and the water I had been sipping on during my hot walk home. When I rang the bell, I heard bumbling around from inside. The door opened, the dog ran out and my friend stood holding the door looking unsettled. Trying not to trip over the door, I hurried in and closed the door. I barely got out “Can I use your bathroom?” before she disappeared back upstairs. By the time I came out of the restroom, she was back on the main floor, this time frantically bouncing her screaming three month old son up and down. Her eyes were sunken in and wet from crying and lack of sleep. Her hair was a mop slightly pulled back in a tie. She just looked undone.
“I was just coming by because I wasn’t going to make it to my house,” was my apology for interrupting her “mommy time.” But she needed a break from being mommy and baby needed a pair of arms that was a bit more soothing than what he could get. So I held out my arms and was quickly given the honor of baby bouncing time. He immediately quieted and she sank into the chair.
We talked, whispered as baby fell off to sleep. I stayed for an hour or two. During my stay, she shared with me her frustrations and fears of returning to work the following week. In general, first-time mommy woes. I’m not trying to minimize the heaviness that comes with the romance of having your first child. It is all very real and at times, very large to swallow the responsibility you’ve just taken on when becoming a mom. So at the end of the day, sometimes mom (and baby) need a good cry and a warm, reassuring hug to follow.
Companionship – "Bea" and I talked a bit about our husbands. How lucky we have someone to go home to at the end of the day to share our experiences with. The commitment you make when you decide to be with this person helps to deepen the connection, collaborative process and physical contact within the relationship. You can create a safe place with someone who understands you, who challenges you to step outside your box, and make a change within yourself and your world. That companion can give you some healthy competition to strengthen your confidence and the skills to be an efficient communicator. After all of the growing and learning you do through life, you begin to see that its not the other that completes you, but it is you that is complete. The other person is there to just compliment.
And with that, I would say these C’s summarize what it is to experience being human.
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