C is for Cookie... And so many other good things.

Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true.  This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C’s.  They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence.  When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.

                                                                        -Walt Disney

Friday, I had an amazing day of discovering what it is to simply be human.   With our gadgets and tings, we find ourselves interacting with a screen more so than a face of flesh and blood.  The day gave way to more C words that, though, may not make dreams come true will give us small miracles to remind us of our humanity.

Awww, Mommy! Daddy’s Gonna Spank You!!!

Last week I was doing some searching toward deepening my spiritual journey through art.  I came across a website and knew it was what I wanted to dive into.  Laura Hollick’s Soul Art came out of nowhere and I was hooked into her visually exciting videos that used colors, paints, feathers and nature to inspire creativity. 

One video that inspired most was Class #3 Switching the Leadership lesson in Laura’s 8 Soul Art Secrets course.  It was all about using the negativity you get in your life as a tool to get clear and gather fuel to take you on your spiritual journey.  The assignment was to identify a body part that holds resistance and pain as well as a body part that you feel is beautiful and radiates your brilliance.  For me, those two parts would be my right hip and my hands.

A Rolling Stone….

I took a little break and did some further exploration into the abyss of creative healing websites on the web.  What a web, indeed!  I’ve watched videos, read bios, taken classes, listened to seminars, clicked on, refreshed pages and Googled so many experts and techniques, its really quite ridiculous.    Exhausting is more like the word.  But I’ve found some sites worth visiting again and again for inspiration and guidance.  I’ll share them in future entries I post.  I’ve added a few new blogs to my list below as well. 

Before I took my “break,” I posted an entry about being rooted in a spiritual way because I was becoming aware of just how confusing this exploration process can be.  It is overwhelming if you don’t have something to root you while you’re searching.  Going out there into cyber space looking for purpose, depth, healing but not having a road map will most likely get you more lost and inundated.  No matter where you are in the process, going at it without much direction or foundation could lead to muddy, even turbulent waters.

Still Hungry?

Again, I found a video that is a nice follow up to the my last post.  So what's on the menu for today?

 peace.

Feed Your Spirit

I’ve been finding so many different people and different ways to explore healing, its blowing my mind!  I want to try it all... and then I get stuck.  Too much of a good thing, I’m thinking.  I mean, even too much laughing can kill you.  So I’ve had to slow down my search and retreat to my core to find balance and direction.  I believe there is something for everyone.  I want to represent it all here in this blog so that people can discover their options.  But how can I explore without losing myself?

Media Healing

Here's a wonderful talk on TED that I thought would be a great follow-up to Finding Your Power Without Your Voice.  I don't always give credit to computers and technology for their role in the healing process.  I mean, physically, technology plays a huge part in people getting well.  But as for spiritual and emotional healing, a computer is the last thing I would think could give that experience.  However, I think differently after hearing Roger Ebert speak about his experience.

Finding Your Power without Your Voice

This past December, the ladies at my church held a Quiet Day in preparation for Advent.  We all met at 9:00 in the morning for some bagels, fruit and coffee then headed over to the main church to start our quiet time.  From that point on, 10:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., we were to be absolutely silent.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to be around a bunch of folks I liked and not share or comment.  I get a sense of security from hearing my own voice.

Medication Curing vs. Alternative Healing

Ahh yes.  Once Upon A Time.....

 

"I Am Large. I Contain Multitudes."

-Walt Whitman

Last Thursday evening I left work, was picked up by my childhood friend and we went, once again to Smith Farm for a SoulCollage workshop.  SoulCollage is a way to explore the many sides of you and connect with them.  I'm not talking about having a dissociative identity disorder.  We all have facets, or layers that we choose to show at various times during our lives.  I am a very quiet person, sometimes very dark in fact, but when I leave my house, I've been told I smile all the day and I know I talk to every passerby.  SoulCollaging is a creative way to getting touch with, understanding and strengthening your relationship with those sides of yourself; your soul.

April Showers.... Part II - Butterfly Gardens

The next day I decided it was time to start my garden.  Every participant was sent home with a goodie bag filled with vegetable and herb seeds.  Besides, the magnolia has been thinned out so sun can actually bathe that side of my yard and house so the timing is right.  Perfect!  I have seeds left over from last years attempt, which I am proud to say resulted in a few months of tomatoes, bushels of basil, three salads worth of lettuce and one single round cucumber. 

So where to start?  I decided to take it slow this year and start with the herbs.  Container gardening for me is ideal right now at this juncture of my life. 

April Showers.... Part I

On February 20th, a friend invited me to join her for a workshop called Rooting DC 2010 at the Historical Society of Washington, DC.  We dropped off my littleest son around 10:30-ish at the very fun-looking, all-smiles, Wiggle Wonders romper room for the day and set our minds to make some big decisions:  Starting Seeds Indoors or Vegetales en Macetas?  We settled on coffee and to skip the first workshop session so we could thaw out. 

Home at the Center of My Art

Ahhh.... yes.  Snow days.  The kids are home, the family is gathered together, laughing and sipping hot cocoa over playing a game of SORRY while the whispy snowflakes come fluttering down outside the windows.  Well enough of that myth.

Tomorrow I'll be returning to work, returning to the grind.  I haven't gone any where except the store in the last week and some change.  So you would think there's nothing to report on.  But wait!  Even though I had that giant, babbling two year old  running in perpetual motion throughout the house, the sloth-like, gangly teenager sprawled out across the couch and the slightly humour-less puma-like manbeast stalking between his den and the kitchen EACH AND EVERY DAY!!!!!!!! I still found a healing place to share about...

my home.

Altering State of Bind

Four weekends ago I went to an Altered Book workshop at Smith Farm Center for Healing and the Arts.  I walked from Dupont Circle, a crisp walk, to U Street where Smith Farm sits, rang the bell and skipped up the narrow stairs to an open, brightly lit, airy space. I was late so I tried to slide in unannounced but the group was too small for that. Instead, I was immediately greeted by Dari, Smith Farm's Program Director, then by Rebecca Wilkinson, MA, ATR-BC, next by Gioia Chilton, MA, ATR-BC, both presenters and all extremely lovely ladies....

Two Thursdays ago, I again attended yet another SmithFarm event.  This was an intriguing lecture, Art and the Intersubjective Experience by Art Therapist, Savneet Talwar.  It wasn't at all what I expected it to be....

So, this is where I get stuck.

New Year Nightmare

Guess what!  After all that talk about dancing and getting my groove back, I didn't go to the class!! 

Now, I know you're wondering "What was all the fuss about, talking to God through movement, rekindling the language, the relationship"?  Its really a long story so I'll save you the long, painful details and try to get to the point.

Awww.  But the details are to me, what makes it good.  Here goes.

New Year's eve and my husband and I were home feeling deflated because our dinner out was cancelled due to babysitter plans falling through.  It took a lot of antics and games to get the boys settled down for the evening so we could steal away in our room and ring in the new year behind closed doors.  But at 11:30 our toddler son woke up in a panic because a jurassic cricket (more commonly known as a cave cricket) jumped on him awaking him from his sleep.  He woke the entire house, if not the neighborhood, with screams only the best ladies in horror movies could belt.  To say he was traumatized would be an enormous understatement.

God in My Hips

Yesterday I went to register for my Samba classes at MamaSita and after taking one look at Dr. Sunyatta Amen, founder of MamaSita Movement and Wellness Studio, I knew I was in the right place for movement and healing.

Dr. Sunyatta was unpacking a new shipment of WoodRoot tonics when my sons and I came in. The studio was closed for the holiday but her door was open and I'm so glad it was. I told her I wanted a class card but then she asked me what else I wanted. I was at a lost for words. I didn't know what else to ask for so she began to offer a list of items I may need to begin feeling good inside and out.

First, she picked out a lovely red and green hip scarf with the coins that give your hips that sexy, sexy belly dance movement even if you are hip-shaped-straight down like me. I tried it on and my youngest son got a kick out of the jingle jangle in the sway. Then I got a chance to chat with her as she explained what woodroot does. Basically, it helps to eliminate the body of toxins, stomach viruses, colds and asthma. Next, she introduced me to the Doctor Bird Bitters which she seemed to be really pushing. She asked if I was getting enough sleep and of course my answer is "no." So Dr. Sunyatta suggested I take the bitters for the nervous energy that causes lack of sleep which comes from stress. And I've been stressing. That is, afterall, the reason for registering for dance classes... to relieve stress and grow spiritually. I figured, what would be the harm in not just healing inside/out through my spirit-mind but also my physical inside? So along with a bottle of vitamins, a box of incense and a sample of some coconut oil, I left with a bagful of preventatives to help me be the change I'm looking for in a healthy life.

God in My Feet

I had an amazing night last night. I met a woman by the name of Joann who painted a real clear picture for me of my life. I went in to Blue Lotus http://www.bluelotustreasures.com/ to find more information on mind-body connection. My husband, who practices Tai Chi, had brought it to my awareness that I should deepen my own search for spiritual growth through exploring the connection of my mind to my body. Something beyond going to church on Sundays. It made sense seeing that although I want to work with people from a psychological point of view, understanding myself good and bad, head to toe, inside and out would help me to understand others. I thought he was talking more like Yoga, which doesn't stir anything in me, but I was willing to give it more research. Especially since I love to move and he's never been wrong when it comes to understanding me.

Since I've gotten married, even before that when we were dating, I've been all about this man. I love him so much. I believe in him, his dreams, his ideals and goals. I think he's dreamy. And he seems to just "get" me. But somewhere along the way, I forgot about believing in myself. I mean, I am pursuing this career goal so I'm putting pieces here and there to make it happen. But I've forgotten the one thing about me that motivates me though and through. I think I stopped believing in my first love... DANCE!

I love all dance. I've tried it all. Maybe not all formal classes but if I see it, then I try to do it. From country line dancing to Tango. My favorite dances are Salsa and Samba. I think I'm good. Most people think I am a dancer. They say "I don't know but you just look like one." I quickly say no as I've not performed professionally, I just like to dance. But as Joann said, just because its not what we do to make a living, what we've received eduction in, or doesn't give us social status doesn't mean it isn't who we are.

When I was little I used to want to drop out of school and become a "professional ballerina." That's what I would tell everyone who asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. But then the director of the ballet school told me I would never have the body for it. I let her words decide I could never be a dancer. "Black girls grow too much hip and bottom and breast." Boy, if she could only see me today. After two children and still no hips or breast. The bottom is there but it falls off it I don't eat a burger once in a while. I definitely grow thin if I'm stressed and that's what I've been for a long time. I love my family but I'm starting to notice what many others have noticed. I'll slit my wrists for my boys and bleed to death just to give them the life they want or need.

Well, that's not too wise so I've decided to take a dance class... Samba! If only you know how much I love to move. I used to work an office job where the vice president didn't want to give me the cost of living pay raise because she felt I didn't sit at my desk long enough. I quit a receptionist job because I couldn't get the concept of sitting behind a desk with a smile and answering phones for 8 hours. Ugh! Maybe that's why I end up working with children. They love to move and sing and dance. People think I drink coffee everyday to keep up with them but I don't. Sometimes I need an extra pick-me-up but that's usually because my toddler at home had a bad night and made sleeping hard to do. I do remember having sleepless nights once upon a time not long ago.

I used to love going to the only Brazilian club in town to dance til the very last song. I would get up and sing and dance to my oldest son who was the same age then. That was several years ago. They've closed their doors since. But this wonderful lady, Joann, told me that finding that spiritual connection mind to body doesn't have to mean that quiet Ohm. It is my special gift, my own language in which I express my gratitude for life, find my center, and send up praise. The best part... I can be as loud as I want. It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? I mean, in other countries, it is the way for people to show their love and reverence for God through their bodies. Why does understanding come so easy some days?

So Joann gave me the name and website of ZeZeh Zax who teaches Samba at MamaSita in Takoma, DC. I'm going to go and renew my life line. I'm going to go have a talk with God.

Build a Team - Phase I

I am in the process of becoming an Art Therapist.

I figure if I say this 1000 times, I will wake up one day and feel truly on the path. Honestly, it feels like I'm chasing my tail. Everytime I get pumped up about starting a new project or direction that will build a step for me to climb that art therapy ladder, I either talk myself out of it or the step just crumbles underneath my foot. So I've decided I can't do this alone. I need a support group, a team to cheer me on.

I think we sometimes get in a rut because we feel we have to prove a point to make it on our own. We rationalize that no one person has the time or energy to give us the support we need to acheive our goal so instead of burdening them, we take it upon ourselves to get our weary bodies there. But I'm finding that little saying "There's strength in numbers" to be true.

Its a healing process. To make a goal and actually bring it to life you must climb, sweat, fall, and climb some more. But most of us are not super heroes, like, say for instance, Wolverine. That guy gets slashed and his extra special mutant biological make-up heals his wounds almost immediately. And he's off to fight another bad guy.

We fight, get slashed, we bleed. It hurts... badly. So we dress the wound in haste because who has time to allow it to heal? "I've got criminals to defeat and dinner to cook!" We say "I'm behind schedule! Y'know the one that says 'You're getting older and time waits for no man. All of your friends and colleagues are doing so much better than you. What are you doing with your life? Why can't you get it together? Get off your bum an get moving!!!!'" So I always find myself jumping back out there before its healed or hiding beneath a rock, sulking. Neither of which helps me to get stronger and climb higher. BUT if I had a little help from my friends, maybe we could work together to make it up that enormous mountain called Mt. New Career.

So, I decided to take some time to rest and reflect. Where should I start so I can dress this wound properly? I know! Clean and organize the house. Stop ignoring the pile of mail that's created a mini fort on your mother's piano. Deal with the hurtful chore of opening up the bills and really reading them. Ouch!

I couldn't do it alone but I didn't want to not do it again next year. I needed a little help getting my household in order for the New Year.

It feels as though we've been living in shear chaos, causing wounds to re-open which leads to making the same mistakes. I checked on Craigslist for someone to help with the organization in my home. I found a great lady who doesn't serve my neighborhood at all but who knew someone who does. I emailed Yvette Davis, professional organizer and owner of Clearly Defined Solutions, and before you know it, Yvette was in my living room showing me new systems for my billing process. I was able to implement them immediately! She took a look at my most cluttered areas and began planning for the dirty work she and I would have to do. She also brought over a few calendars that had different ways of imputting dates and important stuff like paying a bill. She listened to me when we did the initial consultation over the phone and right off the back, she knew what calendar was going to work best for me and my family. It was a huge stress taken off my back, and yet it was so simple.

Sure, I could have done that myself. But life can be overwhelming when you have so many things on your plate. And really, its nice to have someone else do the dishes every now and then. I have a long way to go, true. We have some more work to do but getting my house organized is just the beginning. One of my short term goals is to implement systems at home that can be put on auto-pilot so I can go back to school. Balancing a family of four isn't so easy, therefore I've got to get the kids and hubby on board.

After sharing with my husband how and where to put things, like receipts, we decided on a time and day to record and discuss our growth. A time to begin to heal.

I believe the answers are always within you but those answers don't always say you have to turn within to get the help.

Reach out and build.