God in My Hips

Yesterday I went to register for my Samba classes at MamaSita and after taking one look at Dr. Sunyatta Amen, founder of MamaSita Movement and Wellness Studio, I knew I was in the right place for movement and healing.

Dr. Sunyatta was unpacking a new shipment of WoodRoot tonics when my sons and I came in. The studio was closed for the holiday but her door was open and I'm so glad it was. I told her I wanted a class card but then she asked me what else I wanted. I was at a lost for words. I didn't know what else to ask for so she began to offer a list of items I may need to begin feeling good inside and out.

First, she picked out a lovely red and green hip scarf with the coins that give your hips that sexy, sexy belly dance movement even if you are hip-shaped-straight down like me. I tried it on and my youngest son got a kick out of the jingle jangle in the sway. Then I got a chance to chat with her as she explained what woodroot does. Basically, it helps to eliminate the body of toxins, stomach viruses, colds and asthma. Next, she introduced me to the Doctor Bird Bitters which she seemed to be really pushing. She asked if I was getting enough sleep and of course my answer is "no." So Dr. Sunyatta suggested I take the bitters for the nervous energy that causes lack of sleep which comes from stress. And I've been stressing. That is, afterall, the reason for registering for dance classes... to relieve stress and grow spiritually. I figured, what would be the harm in not just healing inside/out through my spirit-mind but also my physical inside? So along with a bottle of vitamins, a box of incense and a sample of some coconut oil, I left with a bagful of preventatives to help me be the change I'm looking for in a healthy life.

God in My Feet

I had an amazing night last night. I met a woman by the name of Joann who painted a real clear picture for me of my life. I went in to Blue Lotus http://www.bluelotustreasures.com/ to find more information on mind-body connection. My husband, who practices Tai Chi, had brought it to my awareness that I should deepen my own search for spiritual growth through exploring the connection of my mind to my body. Something beyond going to church on Sundays. It made sense seeing that although I want to work with people from a psychological point of view, understanding myself good and bad, head to toe, inside and out would help me to understand others. I thought he was talking more like Yoga, which doesn't stir anything in me, but I was willing to give it more research. Especially since I love to move and he's never been wrong when it comes to understanding me.

Since I've gotten married, even before that when we were dating, I've been all about this man. I love him so much. I believe in him, his dreams, his ideals and goals. I think he's dreamy. And he seems to just "get" me. But somewhere along the way, I forgot about believing in myself. I mean, I am pursuing this career goal so I'm putting pieces here and there to make it happen. But I've forgotten the one thing about me that motivates me though and through. I think I stopped believing in my first love... DANCE!

I love all dance. I've tried it all. Maybe not all formal classes but if I see it, then I try to do it. From country line dancing to Tango. My favorite dances are Salsa and Samba. I think I'm good. Most people think I am a dancer. They say "I don't know but you just look like one." I quickly say no as I've not performed professionally, I just like to dance. But as Joann said, just because its not what we do to make a living, what we've received eduction in, or doesn't give us social status doesn't mean it isn't who we are.

When I was little I used to want to drop out of school and become a "professional ballerina." That's what I would tell everyone who asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. But then the director of the ballet school told me I would never have the body for it. I let her words decide I could never be a dancer. "Black girls grow too much hip and bottom and breast." Boy, if she could only see me today. After two children and still no hips or breast. The bottom is there but it falls off it I don't eat a burger once in a while. I definitely grow thin if I'm stressed and that's what I've been for a long time. I love my family but I'm starting to notice what many others have noticed. I'll slit my wrists for my boys and bleed to death just to give them the life they want or need.

Well, that's not too wise so I've decided to take a dance class... Samba! If only you know how much I love to move. I used to work an office job where the vice president didn't want to give me the cost of living pay raise because she felt I didn't sit at my desk long enough. I quit a receptionist job because I couldn't get the concept of sitting behind a desk with a smile and answering phones for 8 hours. Ugh! Maybe that's why I end up working with children. They love to move and sing and dance. People think I drink coffee everyday to keep up with them but I don't. Sometimes I need an extra pick-me-up but that's usually because my toddler at home had a bad night and made sleeping hard to do. I do remember having sleepless nights once upon a time not long ago.

I used to love going to the only Brazilian club in town to dance til the very last song. I would get up and sing and dance to my oldest son who was the same age then. That was several years ago. They've closed their doors since. But this wonderful lady, Joann, told me that finding that spiritual connection mind to body doesn't have to mean that quiet Ohm. It is my special gift, my own language in which I express my gratitude for life, find my center, and send up praise. The best part... I can be as loud as I want. It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? I mean, in other countries, it is the way for people to show their love and reverence for God through their bodies. Why does understanding come so easy some days?

So Joann gave me the name and website of ZeZeh Zax who teaches Samba at MamaSita in Takoma, DC. I'm going to go and renew my life line. I'm going to go have a talk with God.